Growing a business is not all sunshine and lollipops. It can be hard, and even if you have a team to help, you still have to do things you don’t want to do from time to time.

You know the sorts of things. Things like dealing with the stacks of paper building up in your office, keeping on top of your accounts, putting together a privacy policy or chasing up late payments.

Those uninspiring, sometimes unpleasant tasks that have to be done but that we keep putting off because, let’s face it, there’s always something more fun to do instead.

Today I went on a writing retreat. As I settled into my space I knew what I wanted to create and was eager to get going. Notebook, pen, chocolate and teapigs at the ready.

It was a wonderful day, but what I had to show for it didn’t feel great at all.

Sometimes we put in the time and we do the work and we’re not entirely happy with the outcome.

When that happens to you, how do you respond?

To do good work we need space to ‘be’ as well as to ‘do’. And I know that pausing to take a breath is often easier said than done and might feel like an indulgence you can’t afford.

Back when I was a stressed-out, high-achieving, over-worked Team Leader if someone had told me to take regular breaks I’d have wanted to wallop them.

And yet…

They’d have been right. (And deep down I knew it.)

She’s exhausted. I can see it in her usually bright eyes. And when she begins to speak, my suspicion is confirmed.

Brow furrowed, she tells me about all the things she has to do. Her mind racing, her stomach in knots, the worry about how she’ll fit it all in weighs heavy on her shoulders. The thing Jessica’s most anxious about is a new workshop that she’s committed to delivering early next month.

“I don’t know what to do. I want to create something I feel inspired by, but right now I have no idea what that is.”

I see the problem right away.

Lovely as it was to wave goodbye to 2020, the enormity of what’s going on in the world hasn’t gone away. We’re all still navigating All Of The Everything that life keeps throwing at us.

If you’re finding it a struggle to get back into the swing of things, you’re not alone.

“Are you ok?” she asks at the end of our monthly catch-up call.

“Yes, I’m fine” I reply, too quickly. Surprised by the question. Flummoxed as to what I’d said to give her cause to ask it. I’m excited about what’s happening in my business. I’ve created a new Club and am having loads of amazing conversations with fabulous people. Why would she ask if I’m ok?

Back in June I spent five hours online with a group of inspiring entrepreneurs, business owners and conscious leaders. By the end of our day together something important had emerged. I just knew I needed to share, and I needed to do it NOW.

And then I made a mistake.

Does your to-do list feel overwhelming? If so, you’re not alone.

Yes, there are people out there who have a happy relationship with their to-do lists. But there are many, many others who find theirs completely exhausting and anxiety-inducing.

It’s no surprise that most people who connect with me and my work are in the ‘my to-do list is driving me nuts’ category.

Spring 2016 and I’m on an adventure (remember those?). The stress and anxiety have taken a hold physically - I can’t even walk to the local shops and back without needing to stop for a rest. But still, I’m on an adventure. It’s time to leave employment. What do I do next?

“I don’t feel like it” she sighs, staring at the blank screen as it glares back at her accusingly. She desperately wants to be sharing content more consistently. She’d promised herself she’d write a blog today, but it’s such a struggle to get started.

We’ve all had moments like that, haven’t we? We know what we need to be doing, but we’re just not in the mood.

How easy do you find it to think straight when you’re feeling uncertainty, fear, anxiety and all the other feelings we’ve all been experiencing this year? It’s been (and still is) intense. I’m sure I can’t be the only one who’s put the milk in the washing machine and the keys in the fridge.

Right now our dreams of exploring new places and enjoying long, lazy lunches with a bottle of wine whilst watching the world go by (one of my very favourite things to do) are on hold.

I’ve had a few conversations lately where folks are tempted just to keep on working. It’s not like we can go anywhere or doing anything, so what’s the point in taking time off?

It’s ok not to be productive.

This is not business as usual. Not for anyone.

You don’t need to catch up if you’re not where you thought you’d be right now. March happened and it was horrible.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

I’ve been looking forward to my first session with this fun, inspiring client for weeks. I’m buzzing with energy, itching to get going, excited that I get to spend the next 90 minutes doing the thing I love.

We meet in Zoom, notebooks and cuppas at the ready.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.

“Terrified”, she replies.

Do you like the word productivity? You may not have given it much thought, but I have. And I have a declaration to…declare!

Here’s the thing.

The word productivity makes me think of cogs in machines. Of manufacturing and industry. Of faceless people in suits pointing at graphs in boardrooms.

We evaluate and judge ourselves based on our productivity. (It’s not our fault – society has programmed us that way.)

Dashing into my office after a meeting, I dump a pile of papers on my desk and gather what I need for the next thing. Someone appears in the doorway, asking if I’d do them a quick favour. I smile. (Correction: my mouth smiles… can they see the panic in my eyes?) “Sure”, I reply, grabbing a scrap of paper to scribble down what they need so I don’t forget.

If you’ve been here a while you’ll have heard me say this a bazillion times before:

Productivity is not about doing more in less time.

At least not for me, anyway. 

I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but it seems that Christmas is around the corner and there are just a few weeks left of the year.

By my calculations, that means that around about now many of us will be running around like headless wotsits trying to get All The Things done. And not just All The Things that need doing in our business, but All The Things that need doing at home too.

I propose a time-out.

Have you ever experienced a week where everything seemed to go wrong? If you’re human, I’m guessing the answer is a resounding ‘yes’. Life has this terrible (wonderful?) habit of conspiring against even the best-laid plans!

Can you feel it? All the back-to-schoolness that’s in the air at the moment? My social media feed has been full of proud parents posting ‘child-in-slightly-too-big-uniform-with-oversized-school-bag- on-first-day-of-school’ photos, and business owners sharing their latest offers.

I’m feeling it too. That shiny shoes, sharpened pencils kind of vibe. But before I look too far ahead, I like to reflect on what’s behind me. To see where the lessons are and to observe how far I’ve come.