Four things that make solo business owners feel a bit stupid (and why they shouldn't)
You’re great at what you do. You know it. Your clients know it.
But I’m willing to bet that despite being utterly fabulous, every now and then you feel a bit stupid.
And that’s understandable! We’ve all been there. In fact, I’m there right now, watching everyone else going on about the brilliance of AI whilst I’m still scared that the robots are coming! (Have you SEEN Ex Machina?!)
Suffice to say, running your own business is one heck of a learning curve!
And with people banging on about how easy it is to do x,y,z if you just follow their idiot-proof five-step formula, it’s no wonder we feel a bit inadequate when those things don’t work for us. (Don’t get me started.)
When it comes to getting stuff done, there are so many tools, tricks, hacks, planners and systems out there, all promising to turbocharge your productivity, it’s no wonder many business owners are convinced that if they haven’t got this nailed yet, it must mean there’s something wrong with them.
Well, I’m not having that! Not on my watch!
If you’re struggling to get the important things done and frustrated that your ideas aren’t moving forward, you’re most definitely not stupid. You’re bloomin’ brilliant.
You just haven’t found what works for you yet.
So read on to find out more about the four things that make solo business owners feel a bit stupid. By the end, I think you’ll realise you’re actually a ruddy genius!
1. Exciting, brilliant ideas never get finished
It can be hard to keep up with all the ideas flying at you, can’t it? Whether it’s launching a podcast, designing a new group programme or course, writing a book, running a retreat or something else entirely, your creativity is a fabulous thing. But often those ideas don’t make it over the finish line.
Why this makes people feel a bit stupid
Whatever your brilliant ideas, making them happen will be fun and fulfilling for you. They’ll help you help more people. So why do they stay stuck in notebooks or rattling round in your head when they should be out in the world?
You know the theory. You know you should break each project down into small steps or it won’t get done. But knowing the theory and actually putting that into action are two very different things. And because you’re not able to take consistent action to get your ideas done, you begin to suspect there’s something wrong with you.
What’s really going on (and why you’re not stupid)
As one of my clients said about one of her ideas, “It’s never a priority. I think I’m being good by deprioritising it because there are always other things that are more important.”
That’s proof of her commitment to delivering a top-notch service, taking care of her clients and dealing with all the day-to-day busyness that goes hand-in-hand with running a successful business.
Does that make her stupid?
Absolutely not!
Here’s the thing. Just like my client, you, my friend, are a creative thinker. A big picture person. A visionary, if you will! Your genius is in coming up with the ideas and being brilliant at what you do. Which means your right brain is your happy place, but working out how to get those things done, and then following through by taking consistent action, is not your strong suit.
That doesn’t make you stupid. Au contraire! It makes you the FABULOUS human you are.
What you can do differently
You are an extraordinary human with extraordinary gifts to offer the world but I hate to break it to you… you can’t possibly be extraordinary at everything. None of us can.
And this is GOOD NEWS! Because once you accept that there’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not stupid, you can stop trying to do everything on your own, and start looking for some support. Preferably from someone who can bring a little left brain to the party!
To quote one of my clients:
“I need support to map things out. I CAN do it, but it’s very painful for me and I find it hard to do on my own. I really struggle to focus and I just need hand-holding.”
Do those sound like the words of a stupid person?!
I’d say that makes her pretty goshdarn smart. Understanding we can’t be brilliant at everything and then getting the help we need? Genius!
2. Not doing the regular, heartbeat-of-business things consistently
We all know there are things we should be doing regularly in our business, right? This will vary depending on your business model, but might include things like posting and engaging on social media, sending emails to your list, nurturing relationships, networking or looking for speaking engagements. And let’s not forget the financey and adminy stuff that contributes to the day-to-day running of your business. Fun, eh?
There’s so much to juggle when you’re wearing all the hats and doing all the things. Keeping all the balls in the air all the time isn’t always easy!
Why this makes people feel a bit stupid
Again, it comes down to KNOWING the theory, but struggling to put it into practice.
You know that doing your heartbeat-of-business things consistently will make everything flow more smoothly in your business. You know how important these activities are to the sustainability and growth of your business. But no matter how hard you try you’re just not keeping on top of them.
When you’re busy with clients and projects and launches and sales, the less sexy stuff can easily fall by the wayside. Which means your emails begin to pile up, your audience growth is a bit stop-starty and you’re losing touch with some of your biggest fans and allies.
It’s frustrating as hell, but it doesn’t make you stupid.
What’s really going on (and why you’re not stupid)
This one is tricky to unpick, as there are so many things that could be going on for you.
Sometimes the thing that’s getting in the way of these regular, heartbeat of business things getting done can be surprising! Take my client Lynn. She had a massive lightbulb moment when she realised the reason she wasn’t creating content consistently in her business was because it was so much fun for her that it didn’t feel like proper ‘work’. She’d been subconsciously telling herself that work was meant to be hard for years, and so wasn’t allowing herself to do the fun stuff.
Here are some other things I’ve seen trip people up over the years:
Not enough connection to why these things are important
Not enough time. Literally. Taking on too much, not leaving time for these things.
Getting side-tracked by something that feels more compelling in the moment (shiny objects and distractions)
Lack of clarity about what you actually want and need to be doing
Having a rebellious streak!
Having an all-or-nothing approach (e.g. thinking “if I can’t show up enough to keep the algorithm happy, what’s the point?”)
Each of these underlying causes needs to be tackled differently, but NONE of them make you stupid.
What you can do differently
First things first. Do you even know what the regular heartbeat-of-business activities are for you? If not, take some time to figure that out. Getting clear in your mind first about what actually needs to happen is always a great starting point. For extra points, you might like to consider which of the things on the list are non-negotiable, and which are nice-to-haves that could be put down from time to time (more on that below).
Then, it’s time to delve inwards. Do any of the examples I shared above feel familiar to you? Is there something else going on that’s getting in the way for you?
Once you dedicate some time and energy to figuring this out, you can start to experiment with a solution that feels good to you. And I use the word ‘experiment’ on purpose because there’s no magic wand. It can take time to find what works, and that’s absolutely ok.
You might also find it helpful to check your perfectionism around this. You don’t have to be 100% perfect by getting 100% of your heartbeat stuff done 100% of the time. In fact that’s impossible, so how about cutting yourself some slack.
Sometimes, the right thing to do is LESS. For example, if you’re in a busy period and need to double down in order to finish a big project, you might decide to temporarily reduce the scope of your regular activities (posting once or twice a week, instead of pressuring yourself to show up every day for example). Or maybe it’s time to delegate? That doesn’t mean you’re failing and it certainly doesn’t make you stupid. In my view, that’s what makes you a smart, savvy business owner!
3. Frittering away your time by faffing about
We’ve all done it! Found ourselves with a window of time, only to feel we’ve wasted it.
As this business owner so honestly put it.
“It feels like I never have enough time. But when I do have a decent amount of time I seem to fritter it away on social media scrolling or inbox pruning. Not on the stuff that matters.”
Why this makes people feel a bit stupid
When you’re spinning lots of plates with a to-do list that’s as long as your arm and loads of projects you’d love to be working on, your instinct is to try and squeeze the most out of every minute of every day. And so when you feel shattered at the end of a busy day but you’re not entirely sure what you accomplished, you feel like you’re letting yourself down.
You think you’re doing something wrong, or that there must be something wrong with you. Other people find it easy to focus and get the important things done, so why on earth can’t you?
What’s really going on (and why you’re not stupid)
When your typical day involves rushing around from one thing to the next, dealing with what’s most urgent, putting out fires, and always on the backfoot, it’s physically, mentally and emotionally draining.
And so when you DO have some time on your hands of course you’re going to reach for something comforting or easy. Because you’re exhausted. And when you’re exhausted, it’s hard to switch gears and start thinking expansively and strategically.
That sort of thinking needs time and space. Time and space you don’t have when you’re always running around like a headless doodah.
It’s a vicious cycle that can be hard to break out of! Hard, but not impossible.
What you can do differently
First things first: please, I implore you, take care of your nervous system! Pushing through is not a sustainable strategy, and will only lead to even more overwhelm and, if left unchecked, burnout.
You don’t ALWAYS need to use free windows of time to work on your business. Sometimes you’d be better off using that time for some guilt-free rest. So if you find yourself with a pocket of time in your day and you’re mindlessly scrolling Instagram, maybe it would be better to put down your phone and take a walk. Your frazzled brain will thank you by helping you think more clearly and focus more deeply when you get back to work.
Now, let’s assume you ARE taking good care of yourself but you’re STILL faffing and frittering away your time. Then what? Well, that’s where it’s best to get ahead of the problem by having a gameplan.
When you’re clear about what you’re focusing on every month and every week, you’re making a choice about what to do ahead of time. You’ll have already looked ahead, so those pockets of ‘free’ time won’t take you by surprise. You’ll be ready for them. You’ll know what needs to be done so you can dive right in and get on with it.
And yes, I realise that’s not much help if you’re currently ‘in’ the faffing and you don’t yet have a plan! But I hope that once you’re done reading this you’ll set aside some time to check in with your vision and goals and create a game plan that’ll keep you moving forward.
4. No matter how hard you try, you can’t find a productivity planner, hack or tool that works for you.
I’ve met so many people who spend years looking for the perfect hack or off-the-shelf quick-fix that’s going to turn them into a productivity ninja. When they hear their business bestie/coach/social media guru/cousin Mabel wax lyrical about something that’s worked for them, they think all their problems are solved! But they try it for a few days, and then the novelty wears off - or it simply doesn’t work - and so they’re back to square one.
Why this makes people feel a bit stupid
When you try something that you know works for other people but you can’t make it work for yourself? It’s hard not to feel a bit stupid! I know, because I’ve been there.
Back in 2006 when I was a stressed-out office manager for a small charity, I invested an entire weekend setting up my office according to the method shared by David Allen in his bestselling book ‘Getting Things Done’. I was 100% convinced it would solve all my problems. Only it didn’t. It actually made things worse. Because not only was I in the same pickle as I was before, I’d now added a huge dollop of self-judgement into the mix. Everyone was raving about this book, so why didn’t it work for me? There must be something wrong with me, right?
So if you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not on your own. I see it all the time
What’s really going on (and why you’re not stupid)
First, let’s acknowledge that if ‘being productive’ doesn’t come naturally to you, it’s only natural that you’ll be looking for a fix. The problem is that most people are looking for that fix in the wrong place. They’re looking for a magic hack, tool, or top-tip, but those things usually aren’t sustainable. Sure, they might feel good for a while but they often end up abandoned.
But that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, and here’s why:
There’s big money in helping people be more productive. A whole industry telling you that if you buy their thing all your problems will be solved. Not to mention those well-meaning people we all have in our lives who find something that works for them and then start evangelising!
What those people don’t understand - or choose not to mention when selling their thing - is that we’re not all the same. Just because something works for me, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. Accountability simply doesn’t work for everyone, yet it’s often seen as the holy grail when it comes to productivity. And there’s a very small percentage of the population who can put the things they need to do in their calendar and then actually follow through.
So it’s no wonder that so many people feel like they’re failing when they can’t find something that works.
What you can do differently
What if, instead of forcing yourself to be someone you’re not, you found a way of harnessing your own natural tendencies and preferences to get things done?
Wouldn’t that feel better?
When it comes to productivity, self-awareness is your superpower. What’s worked for you in the past? What hasn’t worked? When are you at your best? Do you feel most focused when you have tight deadlines, or do you prefer lots of space to get things done?
There’s no right or wrong with any of this. The key is to find what works for you, and accept that this isn’t a quick fix; it takes experimentation, curiosity and time. But I promise that once you’ve found an approach that fits, it’ll be there to support you for the long-term.
So, can we agree that you’re most definitely NOT stupid?
It takes courage, resilience and sheer bloody-mindedness to strike out on your own, start your own business and then stick with it, even when things feel hard. Lots of people would throw in the towel at the first sign of a challenge. But not you. You’re in it for the long-haul.
If you’re carrying around the belief that everyone else has everything figured out, trust me - they don’t! I’ve had this conversation so many times and believe me - even the people who look all shiny and professional and whose businesses appear to be thriving can be struggling with this stuff behind closed doors.
So if you’ve been feeling stupid, today’s the day that changes. It’s time to accept that there’s nothing wrong with you, and you don’t need fixing. You’re ruddy fabulous! You just haven’t found what works for you yet.